Resurrection IV - Summer's End
by Annejackdanny
Summary: See Resurrection Part I for summary, thanks. This story is Little Daniel kidfic, AU, adventure, h/c, slash (Jack/Daniel, Jack/other)
1. Chapter 1

**Part IV**

**Summer's End**

_**He **__**knew what it's like to love someone. Knew what it's like having to leave someone he loved behind. That it tore your heart out and left you frozen in your very own hell for a very long time.**_

**I**

The little boy wasn't happy about his second encounter with soap and – Masala insisted on it - a bath brush to scrub off the soot and ash.

Thinking he was getting out of dealing with it this time around, Jack had readily taken Masala up on her offer to clean the ash-monster. After all, Jorge hadn't been wrong. Tending to the feedings and maintenance of the young was usually a woman's job, so he hadn't felt obligated to deny her the 'joy' of bathing young Danny. And Danny had allowed Hadis' daughter to take him to the bathroom without any argument.

Things were going smoothly.

Or so he'd thought.

He'd sipped the apple tea Paolo brought him and had been about to annoy Hadis a little by distracting him from his inventory with silly jokes, when the earsplitting wails had started, making him cringe and almost drop his glass of tea.

Hadis stopped writing numbers onto his notepad, the pencil hovering over the paper. "What in heaven's name is she doing to your child?"

"I guess he spotted the soap," Jack said dryly.

Hadis let out a rumbling laugh. "Ahh, I see! She will handle it. She has bathed all her younger brothers."

Jack nodded. He wasn't going to interfere. The bug had to get used to the concept of water and soap.

"Jaaaa-aaaa-aaaack!"

He was up and running, the tea glass tumbling from his hands, and bursting through the curtains that parted the bathroom from the shop's storage area. He was already feeling like an idiot when he came to a dead halt in the middle of the room, heart racing in his chest.

There was Danny standing in the tin tub, red- and teary-faced, with both hands covering his private parts – but in one piece and unharmed. Masala was by his side, holding the soap in one hand and the brush in the other, frozen in place, either by Danny's outburst or Jack storming into the room as if he wanted to shoot someone.

"She caaaan't wash me! She's a wo – o - man," Danny howled, his tears leaving white streaks in his gray face.

Oh. Joy. A mortified four year old?

Jack took a calming breath and Masala lowered her hands and shook her head. "Danny, I have washed many little boys and there's really nothing I haven't seen before," she said kindly.

"Noo-oo-ooo!"

Jack sighed. "It's okay. I'll do it."

She raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Are you sure? He is very dirty. He needs a proper bath. Have you ever done this before?"

"I think I'm capable of giving him a bath without drowning him," Jack said dryly.

"Oh." She handed him the brush and put the soap on the small table by the tub. "I will go back to assisting my father. If you need anything, let me know. There is water in the buckets on the stove. It should be warm by now. A towel is hanging over there by the doorway." With that she hurried out.

Jack went to the coal stove and dipped a hand into one of the buckets. The water was nice and tepid. He put the brush down and picked up the bucket. When he turned around to Danny, the still sniffling boy was blushing all over and looking at his feet. But he had stopped covering himself and was rubbing his eyes with both hands. "She said she was gonna wash me. And she can't. She's not my mom. And not my wife..."

"Your _wife_?" Jack raised one eyebrow.

Danny sniffled. "She's not. And... and... She just can't." Then he looked up and pleading eyes were raised at Jack, asking for understanding.

He placed the full bucket by the tub and crouched to be on eye level with the bug. "Okay, it's okay," he said quickly to avoid another burst of tears. "Will you allow me to help?"

Danny wiped his nose with the heel of his hand and hiccupped. "I guess. At least you're a guy like me." He sighed. "But I used to do this all alone. I can wash myself, you know? Even though I'm as small as a mouse now."

Wondering if this had been at least part of the issue in the shower as well, Jack suggested, "Why don't you just sit down and wash yourself. If you need help, let me know." He spotted a small sponge on the table and handed it to the child.

Danny blinked owlishly at him, then nodded and plopped down on his bottom. "Oh, okay."

Jack poured the warm water in, which immediately turned black when Danny started to rub his arms and belly with the sponge. "Oy. I bet you'd rather have the shower now," Jack muttered. "There's a plug somewhere. Can you pull it?" He quickly placed the empty bucket under the drain.

"Found it," Danny pulled the plug, then watched with fascination as the dirty water ran from the tub.

"Put it back in. Really stuff it in so it's stuck," Jack said when the tub was empty. When Danny announced it was done, Jack checked to make sure there wouldn't be any flooding, then he re-filled the tub from the other bucket, satisfied when the fresh water turned only slightly gray.

"Now that's better." He handed Danny the soap. "Run it over your arms and chest and everywhere and I'll wash your back if that's okay. I don't think we'll need that ugly ole brush."

"This is hard soap," Danny observed, trying not to let the bar slip through his wet hands as he began washing himself. "You gots soap in a tube."

"Yep, I've got the good stuff you can use for everything. This is dish soap, actually."

"But I'm not a dish." A small giggle arose and Jack could almost literally see the black cloud moving away from Danny's head.

"It'll get ya clean just fine. Don't forget scrubbing your feet."

"And the toes-ies."

"And the toes-ies." After a while Jack took the sponge and ran it gently up and down Danny's small back, washing off more dirt. He noticed how tanned the former lily-white skin had become in just a couple of days.

"Jack?"

"Yes, Danny?"

"Do you think Masala still likes me?" A crease of worry appeared on the small brow. "I yelled REAL loud."

"I'm sure she still likes you. It was a... uh... misunderstanding. You had me thinking someone was trying to kidnap you right outta the tub."

Danny stopped playing with his toes and looked up at Jack and those brilliant blue eyes said _I'm sorry_. Aloud he said, "Do we haveta wash my hair?"

Jack sighed. "I'm afraid so"

Danny patted his hair, which had taken on a kind of shaggy-ash-blond color. "Can't we just brush it out? I promise to take a shower when we get back to the beach tonight. You can help me wash it there. I promise I won't yell at you."

"Actually, we're going to sleep at the ruins tonight." Jack hadn't thought about how to tell Danny about their dinner guest, yet. He didn't want another tantrum right away so he hoped he could just slip it in later. He ruffled Danny's hair and decided to compromise. "Let me brush it out, but then you might have to wash your face again."

"Okay. Sleeping at the ruins? Really? At the theater?"

Jack looked around for a comb, but he only had the bath brush at hand. He shrugged and carefully brushed Danny's short hair. To his relief most of the ash came out. "Sure, if you like that."

"Can we go into the tunnels? The catacombs? Under the theater? Please? Can we?" Danny scrubbed his face with the sponge again, squeezing his eyes tightly shut to keep the soap out of them.

"Not tonight. I don't have kerosene up there anymore, just candles. We'd have to buy some from Hadis so we can light the lamps inside."

"We could buy some today," Danny suggested.

"Nope, not today. I don't have enough money with me." Jack had most of his saved cash stashed away at the barn and he needed the couple of taler he carried with him for the bottle of red wine he wanted to contribute to dinner. And some juice for the short stuff.

Danny stood and looked down at himself. "All squeaky clean."

Jack bit back a chuckle. He wouldn't exactly call it squeaky clean, but at least the kid didn't look like a chimney sweeper anymore. He got the large towel and wrapped the bug in it, then lifted him out of the tub and put him on his feet. With joint effort Danny was dry in no time and dressed in his former pumpkin-colored shirt, which was now mouse-colored. Masala had beaten as much of the ash out of Danny's clothes as possible earlier, but shirt and pants were in bad need of a washing.

_Maybe he needs another set of clothes_, Jack thought wearily. Not today, though. Today he had to make do with what he had and wear his mouse-colored clothes.

Danny didn't mind anyway. He had other worries. When they left the bathroom and found Masala and Hadis in the storage area, jotting down their numbers, he got shy all of a sudden and hid behind Jack's leg, both arms wrapped tightly around it.

"Hey, guys, thanks for letting us use the bathroom. We tried not to make too much of a mess in there," Jack said.

Masala, who was thumbing through a pile of white t-shirts, paused and smiled. "I will take care of that, don't worry. Danny, are you all clean now. honey?"

Jack could feel the nod against his leg. He reached down and scooped him up. Danny put his thumb into his mouth and knuckled his left eye with the other hand.

"Squeaky clean. For the most part," Jack said. "And I think he lost his voice from all that yelling he did."

"I di'n'." Danny quickly pulled the thumb from his mouth. "I'm sorry I yelled so loud. Jack thought I was kidnapped." Brightening at the thought he added. "He came in there real fast! Like lightning! He almost fell into the tub!" Danny patted Jack's shoulder. "That was funny."

Jack snorted. "Glad I could cheer you up, kiddo."

Masala chuckled. "I bet no one will ever dare to kidnap you. You are going to yell them into deafness and Jack will beat them off."

"We are a good team, Jack'n me," Danny said happily, all troubles forgotten.

"Yes, you are," the young woman agreed, giving Jack such a sweet, devoted smile that he felt the urge to run out of the shop and not slow down until he'd reached the ruins.

"Better be on your way before the mule leaves more droppings at the entrance," Hadis grumbled. "He's scaring away customers. He has also tried to eat the Ba'th tote bags hanging outside."

"Yeah. We're," Jack hitched a giggling Danny higher, "outta here. It's getting late and we need to hurry if we want to do one or two tours today. Thanks again."

"Byeee!" Danny waved and Masala waved back, still with that smile. Her whole face seemed to be alight with it.

Jack quickly hightailed it out of there.

Thor was waiting for them, dozing in the afternoon sun. Hadis had watered him and the mule had slobbered all over the ground by the door. Jack untied him and they made their way down the bazaar alleys until they reached the market road. They stopped at a street vendor who had a table stacked with wine bottles and other beverages.

The man immediately offered Jack three different kinds of wine – the cheap brands since it was clear Jack wasn't a tourist nor a wealthy man. He chose a dry spring wine from the local vineyards and a bottle of orange juice for Danny.

"What's that for?" Danny asked when Jack had paid and stashed the bottles in one of the two leather bags at Thor's side.

"For dinner."

"Oh, that's good! I love red wine."

Jack was about to inform his sidekick that he wasn't going to get any wine when Danny tugged at his shirt. "Can I ride?"

"In a minute. We just need... aha." He led the mule to a white washed stone wall in front of a café. "Up you go." He swung Danny up and helped him to sit on the wall, then he mounted the mule and Danny held out both arms to be picked up and seated in front of Jack.

Just then the cafè owner came barging out the door, waving and yelling at them not to trespass on his property and to get lost.

Laughing, Jack clicked his tongue and Thor fell into a soft trot.

Nestled securely against Jack, Danny held on to the mane with both hands. "This is fun! Fu-un! Can we go faster?"

"Not on the cobbles. But we can go faster once we are on softer ground," Jack promised. "We have to be careful though. Don't want to break the bottles."

They slowed down when they reached the mountain road and had to keep an eye out for people hiking up to or down from the ruins or looking at the yard shop displays.

Against his will Jack's thoughts circled around Masala and that look she'd given him before they left. Two days ago he had been sure she'd finally gotten over that crush on him. But today something had happened – and Jack had no idea what exactly that was – that seemed to have made it even worse instead.

No woman had ever smiled at him like that. She was a beautiful girl and smart on top of it. He should be flattered. Instead he felt more like freaking. And it wasn't so much about his tendency of liking guys. He'd been with, and enjoyed the company of women, too. But he wasn't up for the kind of commitment Masala was looking for. She just wasn't for him. And it was probably time to frankly tell her so even if it hurt her. She'd be better off in the long run.

Maybe he should leave for a while and return next season. She'd be long over him by then and hopefully have found a husband. He could do that. Find a new location. Get on the road. He could take the kid and the mule and go west. Or north. Or he could leave the mule with Hadis and hop on a train. Him and Danny. Jack was sure the kid would love riding the train with its steam engine.

Somewhat bemused he realized that the thought of a serious relationship and settling down was more scary than keeping the little guy for good.

They left the town's border behind and when they reached the top of the mountain and the road, deserted for the moment, evened out before them, Jack reined Thor onto the grass verge and tightened his arm around Danny.

"You ready for a run, kiddo?"

"Yes yes yes!"

"I've got ya, but hold on to the mane real tight. Don't worry, you won't hurt him. Try keeping your legs still and go with the movement."

"Okay!"

He clicked his tongue and squeezed with his legs to spur Thor into a fast trod and then into a light canter. The mule shook his head and bucked half-heartedly, but Jack was prepared for that and just kept urging him on until he complied and they were galloping alongside the road. The bottles in the bag behind Jack's legs gave a low clinking sound.

Danny threw his head back against Jack's chest and looked up at him with sparkling eyes, all happy and carefree, as they both laughed and yelled, "Yeeee-hawww!" and "Woohoo!"

They kept going until Jack spotted traffic ahead of them and curbed Thor to a trot and then to walk. The mule fell back into his leisurely gait immediately.

Danny leaned forward on Thor's neck, hugging him. "That was lots and lots of fun! Thank you, Thor."

Jack could have sworn the mule's ears came up a notch.

**ooo**

An hour later he sat on the upper stone tier, gnawing on a blade of grass, as he watched the kids playing war down in the arena. They were fighting with wooden stick weapons. Roars of battle cries and whoops of victory echoed through the theater if one of them went down. They'd attack each other, roll over on the ground, then jump back to their feet and start it all over again.

The tourists loved these kind of shows and the kids had fun. Today it was Mikele and some of his friends from his kickball team who had been hanging out here, waiting for Jack. They didn't do this every day, only when their other obligations permitted it. But they knew Jack guided tours in the afternoons and they had developed some kind of fight-game routine to entertain people and make some extra money.

Today they performed the rebellion of the Sinners against their gods.

The 'gods' wore capes, made from old bedsheets probably stolen from their mothers' laundry lines. The Sinners were adorned with headbands of crow feathers and squiggles drawn on their foreheads with charcoal or white chalk. Like they had seen it on some of the pictographs.

Danny had taught them a new battle cry earlier and they had picked it up and were practicing it now.

"Tal Shakka Mel!" echoed through the ruins over and over again.

_I die free._

Danny had translated it for Jack and the tourists. "The Jaffa use it when they battle their gods for freedom. It means that even if they die fighting, they die free and not as slaves."

"What is a Jaffa?" one of the customers had asked.

"A Sinner," Jack had provided without hesitation. "That's what they call themselves. Jaffa." And he knew he'd been right even before Danny confirmed it.

It was time to get his group moving and to remind Mikele he had a pottery job waiting for him.

He got to his feet and looked for Danny who had been cheering on the 'Jaffa' a while ago. When he couldn't find the little guy right away and didn't spot him anywhere on the tiers or down by the games, Jack cursed under his breath and made his way to the arena. Watching a bag of fleas was easier than keeping an eye on that kid.

Following a hunch, he turned left on one of the lower tiers. He rounded the arena halfway until he reached a dark doorway. This used to be the entrance and exit for the jury who had seats with the best view. The jury, according to Jack's guide book, started and ended each gladiator game and called out the winner. They could enter and leave the theater through a small tunnel. There was a similar entrance further up the tiers for the gods and goddesses and other important guests. The tunnels led through ramparts to several exits outside the theater. Some were caved in, some weren't.

However, the tunnels were also connected with the catacombs underground where the Sinners... Jaffa... had waited for the games to begin. There was a labyrinth of small cells and alleys down there and it was easy to get lost in the dark. Not even Jack had mapped out the whole tunnel system.

As he got closer, excited small voices carried out to him from inside the tunnel.

"We thlept hewe when we thaw you comin' fwom the thky."

"It was a really bright light and it rained down like white fire."

"Was there someone else?" Danny asked. "Someone bigger than me? 'cause I'm missing someone."

"Nooo, there wath juth you. Why?"

"There's another me up there. But I can't find him. I thought maybe he came down, too."

Jack stopped, one hand pressed against the rough stone wall by the entrance to ground himself against the impact Danny's words might have on him. And here it came. He was thrown into another of these delusions. So real as if it was happening right here and now...

...He was in the gate room. Everything was bathed in that weird glow. Oma was floating away through the open gate, leaving them to say their goodbyes.

Jack wanted to grab his shoulders and order him to stay. He couldn't lose him. Couldn't even imagine what it would be like to go through the gate without Daniel by his side. He felt words burning in his throat; words he should have said a long time ago. Words he couldn't have said. Couldn't say even now.

Daniel looked at him and his eyes had never been this blue before, never this intense. Jack saw traces of regret and an echo of the old pain he'd caused in both of them. But he could also the dawn of a beginning, the hope for peace. The will to cut old ties and embrace new challenges. Jack saw all that in Daniel's eyes and he knew he had to let him go.

He had no right to make demands. No right to order him to stay and give Jacob another go at healing him.

"So, what? See you around?" It was all Jack managed to say. Because if he asked Daniel to stay, Daniel would ask why. And Jack couldn't tell him. Not anymore. That ship had sailed. He should have told him a long time ago and chose not to. Because he'd been a coward and an ass. But right here he couldn't tell Daniel for very different reasons.

If Jack was telling him now... and Jacob couldn't heal him after all... if Daniel was going to die because Jack asked him to stay...

"I don't know," Daniel said softly. He turned and started walking up the ramp, through that gate, out of Jack's life...

"Hey!" He still felt the words moving in his throat, but what he said was, "Where are you going?"

"I don't know."

And he was gone. He was gone and Jack was left behind, numb and cold...

...The creases and edges of the wall cut into his palm as his hand clutched the stone. Feeling dizzy and disorientated for a moment, Jack blinked and took a calming breath. He turned and squinted against the sunlight. The kids in the arena were bowing to the applauding tourists and waving their wooden staff weapons.

Staff. Not stick weapons.

Goosebumps crawled up Jack's arms and suddenly he was angry. Whatever this was, he hadn't asked for it. And he wasn't going to give in to it. He ducked through the doorway and bellowed at the rugrats to, "...get out of there, right now!"

The twins and Danny tumbled through the entrance like a litter of puppies, yipping all at once.

"I thowed Danny whewe we thleep thometimeth."

"It's not far into the tunnels. We could still see the entrance."

"Jack, did you know the tunnel leads to the catacombs, too?"

Ranja nudged Danny with his elbow. "Shuddup!"

Danny slapped his hands over his mouth. "Oops. I wasn't s'pposed to tell we went that far in."

Jack crossed his arms and glared down at the three urchins. "You're not supposed to go in there at all. I trust Mikele to be smart enough not to take you down to the catacombs, but you're not allowed to play here on your own and you know it. It's dark and you could hurt yourself or get lost."

"Sorry," Ranja and Danny mumbled. Mania's head bopped up and down.

"You stay away from the tunnels unless your brother is with you," Jack told the twins. Giving Danny a hard look he continued. "And you remember that rule about not wandering off?"

"Uh-huh."

"Good. If I catch the three of you spelunking again..."

Mania attacked Jack's leg, hugging it tightly. "You ith not angwy with uth, wight, Jack? We ith thowwry, we juth wanned to play 'thplowewth."

"Explorers," Danny translated helpfully.

"We're SG-1," Ranja announced proudly. "We're a team and we were looking for an Unas in there. To make friends with them."

"Unath awe weally big an' thtinky, but pwince Danny thayth we haveta kneegosheate with 'em," Mania shared, her arms still wound around Jack's leg.

Jack felt the reality start to shift again and bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself focused. When he was sure he'd managed to stay in the here and now he reached down and pulled Mania off his leg, but took hold of her arm as she was about to dance away from him.

He sat on a boulder and tugged her back to his side. He put his free arm around Danny and after an indecisive 'fight or flight' moment, Ranja stepped closer as well.

"So, who's in command here?" Jack asked. "Who's your fearless leader?"

Danny shuffled his feet. "Ranja is Teal'c and Mania is Sam. She can't say physicist right. But that's okay."

"And who're you?"

A small grin appeared on the chubby face. "I'm Daniel Jackson. I'm the geek," he said with so much pride in his voice that Jack had trouble keeping up the stern expression. "That means I am very smart. And I'm always right. Sam is in command right now, 'cuz we lost the colonel."

"He'th kidnapped by the Unath," Sam-Mania whispered. "He'th prolly hurted and towtuwed and will die a howwible death if we don' wethcue him!"

"But," Ranja said a bit nervously and not at all Teal'c-like, "We think the Unas took the colonel and dragged him down to the arena. That's what we think, right, Doctor Jackson?"

Danny took his sweet time considering this, so Jack prompted. "I think that's a great idea. Search the arena and maybe on the boulevard. The catacombs are off limits. Major Sam, you're in charge. Make sure the boys follow your orders."

"You mean _your_ orders," Danny piped up, then hurried to add, "But we'll search the arena."

Jack released the kids and, giving Danny a gentle pat to his rear, said, "SG-1, move out."

"Boyth, follow me," Sam-Mania bellowed. "We willth find the colonel and bawgain with the Unath fow hith life."

"No one gets left behind," Danny hollered.

"The Unas better listen to us or else," Ranja yelled.

"You have to say 'Indeed, DanielJackson'. That's what Teal'c does," Danny instructed his friend

"And look... scary," Jack added flatly.

They bounced down the tiers like a herd of rollicking goats. Jack looked on, almost certain one of them would fall and break their neck. But they made it to the bottom in one piece and kept running until they had reached the other side of the arena.

Mikele came over and asked Jack for his cap. He handed it to him and the boy took care of collecting money for the extra entertainment and sharing the outcome with his buddies.

Jack still had to take his group to the monolith, but he felt kind of wobbly in the knees and light headed. So he stayed seated for a moment longer, taking several deep breath.

He was Jack O'Neill, a guy with no particular goals. Just someone who liked living his life in peace with not too many boundaries. He was a tourist guide and a beach seller. He believed in the things he could see and touch. And right now he felt the solid, warm stones of the theater under his butt and he could see the afternoon sun drawing figures of light and shadow on the decayed buildings and walls around him.

He saw the older kids putting their money away and taking their leave, laughing and chattering as they went. He saw his group of vacationers snapping more pictures of the theater. He could feel the sun on his arms and hear the distant call of an eagle. He could see the blue sky and the three small children playing 'chase the Unas' in the arena.

The Unas...

...Big, ugly, cavemen with bumpy calloused skin, bad teeth and boney necklaces. He'd had the doubtful pleasure of meeting some of those fellas. First with Teal'c in that cave where the hammer...

...Mikele returned with the cap and said he was going back to the barn now. Jack nodded and his voice sounded quite normal when he answered, "If Jorge isn't there to help you, leave it alone and come back here to let me know. Don't deal with the kiln alone."

"I know, I know." The boy bit his lip and squinted at Jack. "Can I... if Jorge's not there, can I still help you with the firing? And are you still gonna teach me how to glaze in the morning? I always wanted to know how to glaze."

"You interested in pottery that much?" Jack asked.

"Yes! It makes good money and I like working with clay." Mikele shrugged. "I don't have money to rent my own place or buy a wheel, but it can't hurt to learn stuff, right?"

He clapped the boy's skinny shoulder. "Scoot. If you do a good job with the stoking I might even show you how to work the wheel."

"And then I can work for you next season! Help with the pottery!"

"We'll see."

Mikele whooped and made it down the tiers in a similar breakneck pace as the little ones.

Jack stood slowly, feeling twice his age and tired. He rubbed his temple, trying to ward off the looming headache. He had a job to do. He had to lead the...

...team...

...tourists to the damn monolith.

He had to get his act together and finish the tour. If he kept screwing things up someone would eventually complain about him at 'Ba'th Vacations' and he'd lose the job. Jack needed the job, especially now that he had to take care of Danny. And he had to look for a winter job soon. Something that would put food on their table and allow him to take the kid with him.

Maybe he could apply for the beach cleaning troop for a couple of weeks after season was officially over. Picking up garbage, sweeping the sand and repairing sun lounges and parasols. Danny could even help with some of that. Later, he could sign up for a job at one of the hotels; fixing things, remodeling rooms, that kind of thing.

His mind occupied with rational, normal things Jack slowly regained his calm and was ready to face his customers.

He led them down the boulevard, explained its former purpose of festive parades and gave a nod here and there to particularly interesting carvings on the pillars and boulders.

Danny and the twins trailed along, mostly cowering behind the columns and large pedestals. They were probably still chasing Unas.

_Don't go there._

Jack heard stage-whispered conversations and giggles and Ranja's enthusiastic voice over for the 'weapon fire'. "Woosh, bang bang, woooosh, bang bang!" followed by a howl of victory.

Weren't they going to make friends with the... beasts? Maybe the fight for the colonel's life was lost and now it was time to shoot some ugly aliens.

The monolith loomed ahead of them like a black, sore thumb. But its golden glyphs sparkled in the sunlight, which softened the gloominess quite a bit.Jack's group gathered around it to take pictures and brush over the writings and to study the tablets on display at the foot of the monolith.

Jack's story, today, had been a mix between his usual fairy tale (On Danny's insistence he'd called the god Horus, not Bart) of love and rebellion with Danny throwing in bits about Isis, who – in this story – had resided here beside Horus. She was his mother. When Horus had fallen in love with the beautiful Masala and her blindingly blue hair, Isis had not been happy and had tried to talk Horus out of it – with no success. Danny had laughed so hard about the blue hair, he'd almost fallen off Jack's shoulders. When Horus had died in battle by the hand of Master Homer and his apprentice Bra'tac, Isis had cried for so long that she'd flooded the whole town of Ba'th.

Everyone had loved the story. And no one had been here before to prove them wrong.

Myths, lies and fairy tales – great stuff.

A small missile shot out from behind a column and two short arms hugged Jack's legs from behind. "I've got ya!"

"Hey, Danny-boy, you done chasing the bad guys?"

"Uh-huh. Ranja and Mania had to go home."

Jack picked Danny up and swung him on his shoulders. "I was just going to explain these writings to our audience."

"Oh! But you have no idea what they say!"

The men and women around them laughed.

"You weren't supposed to let them know," Jack muttered, rolling his eyes.

"The monolith is about Isis, Horus' mom," Danny lectured with his clear young voice. "The name Isis means 'throne' and it was said that her son, Horus, was seated on the throne she provided for him. Isis is the goddess of children and protector of the death. Her parents were Geb, the god of the Earth, and Nut, the goddess of the sky. Isis was kinda nice, but she was unhappy because she married her brother Osiris and Osiris got killed by Seth who was also their brother. It's all kinda complicated."

Jack's hands closed around Danny's ankles as a carousel of names began to tumble in his head... 

...Seth; white robes and glowing eyes, a drug that messed with all their heads, Sam Carter attacked Seth with the hand ribbon thingy; she blasted him right into the ground. Osiris was supposed to be a guy, but he resided in a woman's body. Sarah Gardener, who was somehow connected to Daniel. The big Daniel. Sam and Daniel faced him/her off in Egypt while Jack was off fishing with T...

..."Stop!" He shouted, his voice harshly cutting through Danny's rambling. He swallowed hard and forced himself to focus on the present. "I think we heard enough," he added quietly.

Before anyone could protest or demand more information, Jack turned to his group and announced the tour was over. He thanked everyone for listening and wished them a good day and safe travels home. Yadda.

Danny stayed seated on his shoulders, not uttering a single word until the people had moved back down the boulevard and out of ear shot.

"I want down, please," he said finally, in a very small voice.

Jack put him on his feet and they looked at one another for a long uncomfortable moment.

He wanted to ask, '_What's going on? What's happening to me?' _

But he was tongue-tied and finally he just said, "Sorry. Didn't mean to yell at you."

Danny turned his baby-blues on him, wide and somehow sad. "I know. I wish I could do this better."

And despite not wanting to, Jack asked, "Do what better?"

"Show you."

"Show me what?"

"Everything."

"What?"

"If I could find the other Daniel... he'd help."

Jack shook his head. "I don't need any help, thank you. And I'd be grateful if you could just stop..."

"I'm not doing anything, Jack. You said to stop showing you stuff and I did. Your memory's coming back on its own, but you have to want to remember. I'd help you more, but I have lost some of what I need to show you, too," Danny said.

"My memory is fine."

"No, it's not. Not yet."

"Stop arguing with me," Jack warned. He wasn't going to discuss his memory or sanity with a toddler, no matter how smart said toddler appeared to be.

"I'm not arguing. I'm just telling you stuff." There was a small pout now. "You just have to start listening to me."

"I don't have time for this," Jack grumbled and picked the bug up again. "We have to go back to the theater. It's almost dinner time. He's gonna be here soon."

He felt Danny tense up in his arm. "Who? Who's coming to dinner?"

"Oh, you know the guy with the funny hair. I invited him out here and he's gonna bring all the food," Jack said lightly and hoped for the best.

"Why?" Danny asked, brow furrowed and eyebrows knitted into a V.

"Why is he bringing all the food?"

"Why did you invite him for dinner." The frown deepened.

"Because I kinda like him." They were walking down the boulevard, back to the arena. The ruins lay deserted; all the tourists – whether they had taken a guided tour or not – were on their way to dinner.

"I don't," Danny said firmly.

"Why don't you like him? He's a nice guy."

"I just don't." The thumb went into Danny's mouth.

"He didn't do anything to you."

"He's yucky."

"Why'd you think that?"

"Because. An' you can't make me like 'im."

"That's fine. You don't have to like him. But I want you to be nice."

"Why?" Danny asked around his thumb. "I didn' invite 'im."

"Nope, but if you want to have dinner with us you better behave."

"Don' wan' dinner wif him, jus' wif you."

Jack pulled the thumb from Danny's mouth. Closing his hand around the kid's small one, he said, "We're going to have dinner with M... Björk tonight. And I want you to promise me not to be a brat."

Danny scowled and tugged at his hand. "He's not gonna drink my wine."

"Your...? Danny, I didn't buy the wine for you. You're way too young to have wine. But I'm sure you'll like the orange juice."

"He can have the orange juice."

"You're not getting any wine."

"I'm not gonna have dinner with him, I'm not. I will have dinner all on my own," Danny informed him.

"You sure about that? You might feel a bit lonely all on your own." Jack said slightly amused.

After a sullen pause Danny replied. "I will sit with Thor and have dinner with him. He's nice."

Jack sighed. "Fine, have it your way."

They had almost reached the grassy plateau by the theater now. Danny wriggled until Jack put him down and he stomped off in a huff.

Jack found him in his small shelter a moment later. He sat in a corner, hugging the wine bottle they had stashed here.

He crouched in front of him. "Give me the wine, please."

"No."

"Daniel..."

"No. And I'm not Daniel. I'm Danny."

Jack took a deep breath. "Okay, look, _Danny_. I'm bigger than you. I can take the bottle by force and there's little you can do about it. But I'd rather not do that because it would make us both very unhappy."

There was a sniff. "'s not fair that you're bigger than me."

"I know, but there it is."

"An' I'm already very unhappy if you must know."

So was Jack. "I know. So let's not make it worse, huh?" He held out a hand and finally the bottle was pushed at him and he caught it before it fell to the ground. "Thank you. I appreciate it."

"Go away." Danny pulled up his legs, crossed his arms over his knees and buried his face in them.

Jack was torn between granting Danny his wish and trying to ease things between them somehow. However, he heard his name being called from outside his small cave and it didn't look like he'd be able to solve this until Mohawk had left. And he wasn't going to send the guy away just because Danny was making a scene.

"Look, I know you're mad at me, but you're welcome to eat with us, okay? No hard feelings on my part. And the orange juice is right over there in the corner." He reached out and gave the blond hair a gentle ruffle. "I'm right there, outside if you need me."

"I don' need you. And I don' need dinner," Danny mumbled into the crook of his arms.

"Just in case... there's chicken and chips and salad." Jack got up, grabbed what he needed and left. He didn't feel good about this. Not at all. But even the star child had to learn he couldn't have his way all the time.


	2. Chapter 2

**II**

Mohawk was waiting for him with bags of food. He'd even brought a blanket to sit on. The hair was back to yellow and he- New Story was dressed in his white pants and a white top.

"Something smells nice," Jack commented, feeling slightly under-dressed in his dusty khaki shorts and t-shirt with the 'Ba'th Vacation' print on the front.

"If it tastes the way it smells it's going to be awesome," Mohawk said with a grin.

"It does. If you got it where I told ya it's the best chicken and chips you can get."

They spread the red blanket on the ground and Mohawk placed the bags in the middle. Jack had brought forks and the wine.

"Where's the kid?" his guest asked once they had settled down to eat.

Jack pointed at the curtain of ivy with his fork. "He's in there, sulking."

"Aw, I'm sorry to hear that. I brought chocolate cookies for dessert."

Jack pursed his lips. Maybe... "Hey, Danny? Chocolate cookies!"

There was no reply.

"Wow," Mohawk mumbled. "He really doesn't want to breathe the same air I do, huh?"

Jack shrugged. "Depending on how long you're going to stay in town he might get over it eventually."

"Oh, I'm not due back at the university until the start of the next term. That's still two weeks away."

Two weeks? Jack felt hopeful. Two weeks might not be enough time to forge a friendship between Danny and Mohawk, but if the bug continued to hate Jack's new friend this much he might rather spend some time with Masala on one of their next dates.

They dug into their chicken and chips and picked from the salad which was in an extra bowl. There was a smaller box with Danny's dinner that Jack set aside for later. The food was delicious and they had the wine to go with it. Due to a lack of glasses or mugs they took turns drinking straight from the bottle. Mohawk got the most of it because Jack wasn't relaxed enough to drink much. He feared his mind would go strange places if he got drunk. And then there was the kid to consider.

As the sky turned to orange fire and they caught first glimpses of stars, most of their food was gone and they had talked about Mohawk's studies and Jack's different jobs. They discussed life in the city versus life in Ba'th Town and touched on several other topics.

"I better see if the short stuff wants something to eat," Jack said at one point. He had hoped Danny would get over himself and join them, but apparently he was stubborn enough to wait them out.

"Tell him I won't bite," Mohawk said.

Jack picked up the small box and entered his shelter. It was dark in here and at first he couldn't see anything. But then he spotted Danny still in his corner, curled up, thumb firmly planted in his mouth.

"Aw, man." Jack put the food down and brushed a tender hand over the short blond hair. He felt the dampness of tears under his fingertips when he cupped his face. "Danny? Hey, kiddo..."

But the boy didn't rouse to Jack's gentle coaxing. Finally he gave up and went back outside, taking the food with him. He put the box back into the bag and hung it into the branches of a nearby crippled tree to keep it away from insects or small mammals. Thankfully Thor – who was grazing somewhere around here – didn't like chicken. The fried potato sticks would probably be mushy tomorrow, but the meat would still be good.

"If this is bad timing..." Mohawk began when Jack returned to the blanket.

"Nah, it's okay. He's asleep now." he grimaced. "I'm not used to having a kid around. Well, not all the time anyway. It's kind of... complicated sometimes. But I'm sure he'll be okay in the morning. Mostly he's a pretty cheerful little guy." He pulled his tour-guide book from the back pocket of his shorts before he sat down again. "Here, you wanted to see this."

"The book of all books," Mohawk said with a smirk as he took it.

"It has all the hard and fast facts. As many as the geeks could figure out anyway."

Mohawk flipped through the pages, pausing here and there to read a couple of paragraphs. "Ah, yes. They were able to reconstruct a lot of the architecture facts like when it had been built and what kind of stone had been used and how the bath worked... and they have vague assumptions about there being a male and a female goddess here and the Army of Sinners... from the pictographs and the carvings."

_Danny says the goddess' name was Isis_, Jack thought. _He can read the glyphs on the monolith._ But he couldn't tell Mohawk that. The guy would think he was nuts. And maybe he was. He sure felt like he'd lost some of his marbles lately.

It was getting too dark to read and Jack offered to lend Mohawk the book. "I know what's in it. I just need it back before you leave."

"Thanks. I'll get it back to you, don't worry." Mohawk put it down and they sat in companionable silence for a while until he said, "You really wanted to punch me, right? That day I kept pestering you about your stupid god Bart story?"

"The thought crossed my mind briefly, yes."

"I didn't mean to offend you. I just like to get to the bottom of things and your story was so obviously made up, it almost hurt. I had to prod and poke a little. It's a me thing, I guess."

"No one has ever complained about it so far," Jack grumbled.

"I guess most people don't care about the truth. They just want to be entertained," Mohawk said.

"Yeah, my luck I stumbled over a guy who's seriously into all this history crap. Story of my life."

Mohawk chuckled and took another sip from the wine bottle.

_Daniel's wine. The wine had always been for Daniel. _

"So, you grew up around here?"

Jack blinked. "What?"

"Did you grow up in Ba'th or have you ever lived elsewhere? You said you haven't been to the cities, but have you spent all your life in this town?"

"Oh, I grew up in a place called...

...Minnesota...

..."Shate'e. Beach town like this one, further down the coast. Don't know much about my parents or other family. Been on my own most of my life."

"Well, you had to go to school. You can read and, I guess, write?"

"I had a friend who taught me. And his mama used to feed me when he took me home."

"Sooo... never been married? No kids – except for the mysterious little one who's dropped onto your doorstep?"

Jack pursed his lips and eyed the man sitting across from him. "You're not nosy at all, eh?"

Mohawk laughed and the sound caused a tingling sensation in Jack's gut. "I'd like to get to know people. Especially on a first date."

"I'm easy. What you see is what you get. No mysteries," Jack said lightly.

"Really? I think most people aren't what they pretend to be," Mohawk replied. "And I'm curious about people's stories and their cultural backgrounds."

"People are people. Most of them have the same needs. Some are more ambitious and some are more greedy than others," Jack said.

"Greedy for...?"

"Power. Money. Control. Take your pick." He got to his feet and stretched his back muscles. "I'll get us some light."

Inside the dark chamber Jack reached into a large crack of the wall and retrieved a halfway burned-down pillar candle. He lit it with one of the matches he always carried around. In the warm yellow light he saw that Danny had uncurled and seemed more relaxed. He was on his back, the thumb just barely touching his lips – like he was kissing the tip.

Cupping the dancing flame of his candle with one hand, Jack ducked out the door and found Mohawk standing and looking at the velvet sky full of twinkling stars and a moon that was half full.

"You were right," Mohawk said. "The sky is pretty impressive up here."

"No other lights disturbing the view," Jack agreed. "I'd take you up to the theater, but with the kid in there..."

"He's still asleep though, isn't he?"

"Ye-ah, but if he wakes up and can't find me he might panic or something." Geez, he was turning into a mama-hen.

Mohawk nodded. "Here is fine. Maybe we could sit on the rampart to be a bit higher and you're still close enough to hear him if he calls for you."

The rampart, overgrown with grass, went in a wide circle from Jack's shelter to the theater. It used to be one of the visitor entrances. They had only the candlelight to guide them, but climbing the wall was easy enough and a few moments later they were seated just above the chamber Danny slept in.

Jack blew out the candle and put it down beside him.

"You really have a soft spot for the boy," Mohawk observed.

"If no one wants him back I'm gonna keep him. It'll increase Hadis' nagging about me finding a wife tenfold, but I guess I can live with that."

"Other fathers raise their kids alone. Wives die sometimes," Mohawk said. "Or they leave."

"It may be like that in the city, but not here. Here you find a new wife if you're alone with kids. At least you try."

"It's not really much different in the city. Raising kids is a woman's job. But there are single fathers in Madinah as far as I know. Finding a new wife when you already have children isn't easy these days. Women want to build their own nests."

"Out here a woman is frowned upon if she's not married by the time she hit twenty," Jack muttered. "And a guy should strive for a family. The bigger, the better. In the end you gotta feed a lot of hungry mouths."

"And women are expected to stay at home and find their goal in raising kids and tend to the house." Mohawk said. "That's how it works in the city. When the babies come, the women stay home."

"Oh, most women I know around here work harder than some of the men. But they don't get paid the same as the men. And as long as they don't stand up for their rights that's not gonna change," Jack said.

"Maybe some day someone is going to start a revolution," Mohawk said with a smile.

"Yeah, who knows." Jack felt Mohawk's leg brushing against his and realized how close they were. He put his elbows on his own knees and now they were arm to arm, shoulder to shoulder. "You know what the stars are called?"

Mohawk raised a hand, pointing at a cluster of stars forming an arrow. "I know this constellation is called archer."

"Some of them are planets. Like ours. With people living on them." As soon as the words had left his mouth Jack wanted to bite his tongue. What an idiotic thing to say.

"Do you believe that? That there are other worlds like ours?" Mohawk didn't sound spooked or amused. Just curious. Geek-curious. Just like...

_Daniel. He reminds you of Daniel. That's why you're here with him. That's why you want him._

"Yeah, I believe that," Jack heard himself say. "People like you and me. But different folks too. Like little gray aliens with huge blinking eyes or big nasty beasts with claws and ugly heads."

_Asgard and Unas, _Jack's mind provided helpfully.

Where was all this crap coming from?

"Wow. You really have a talent for story-telling. Maybe you should write books," Mohawk said. But he sounded genuinely interested even though his words were a gentle tease.

"There's the angel's wings," Jack said and they both focused on the star pattern displaying a pair of wings. Whoever had named them angel's wings had probably been in love with a beautiful woman or man. To Jack they looked more like hawk's wings or eagle's wings.

"They say if you can see the wings of the angel you're blessed," Mohawk murmured, voice deep and husky.

It was now or never.

Their lips met in the dark and Jack's hand found Mohawk's neck, pulling him in close. The taste of red wine with a very faint layer of fried chicken exploded on his tongue as they devoured each other's mouths. Warm and wet and nice. When Mohawk's teeth nipped at Jack's lower lip he let out a soft growl. A hand sneaked under Jack's shirt, trailing up his ribs. Mohawk hummed appreciatively while they continued to kiss deeply.

_Yeah,_ Jack thought, that's it. _Missed out on this far too long _

Reality shifted once again and he suddenly remembered how...

...whenever he had given in to another guy's hand or mouth there was always this feeling of shame that had been drummed into him by his parents and then by the military. Men don't hook up with men. Wrong values. Sick and unwanted.

When Jack had found out about guys doing it in the field, he'd been shocked. But he hadn't been able to stop himself in those early years. Hadn't been able to turn them down when they'd offered. They'd done it for stress relief, for comfort. No one ever talked about it. No one acknowledged it the next day. Dirty things one only did out of sight, in the dark. It had nothing to do with feelings beyond raw need and want. Scratching an itch. It might have been the wrong thing to do, but – oh man – it felt so good.

Had felt so... right. And wrong. Forbidden pleasures.

But it wasn't forbidden here. Because here everything was different than... there.

Easy.

As they continued to kiss and stroke each other Jack was barely aware of the thoughts rushing through his mind. Was barely aware his realities had started to mingle. He'd been married. No, he'd never been with a woman long enough to...

_._..He used to work for the military... the Air Force... He'd been a pilot, a long time ago. Nothing like the rush of flying...

...No, he'd never been anywhere even close to a glider. He'd lived his life at the coast, by the water. He'd been a street kid, dependent on his friends' parents to throw him a bone, give him a job, let him sleep in their homes...

...He had grown up in Minnesota... youngest of three sons...

…Mohawk pulled away, a breathless throaty laugh escaping him. "Not only are you a man of many professions, you can also kiss."

Jack licked his lips. "Need more practicing though. Been a while."

"Works for me."

They fused again, melted into the night, started kissing different places. There was the salty taste of skin, the sweet pain of small bites along Jack's jawline and down his throat. Out of the corner of his eye Jack noticed the sky brightening over the theater as tendrils of silver and white light seemed to float down to the earth.

Another falling star?


	3. Chapter 3

**III**

When Daniel had said goodbye to Sam he'd felt more balanced; less like his consciousness was scattered all over the universe. For a while, at least, the warmth of her solid loyalty and love had filled the missing part in him. Sam had planted a tiny seed of hope, too. He'd been right after all. The memory shield could be breached without damaging a person's mind.

He'd drifted away from her, uncertain with himself and about what to do. Finally, driven by restlessness, he had gone back to the place where his friends' belongings were stored. He'd looked down at all the items that would identify them as SG-1...

_'I was happy here.'_

Sam's words kept re-running in his mind over and over. She was happy here. So was Jack. Oma had predicted that, reminded him that he had no right to force their memories back onto them even if he could. Sam had chosen to find the truth on her own.

Jack, however...

Daniel had no recollection of how long he'd stayed there, absently playing with that slip of metal he'd been trying to grasp before. He felt the affect of meeting Sam, of being with her, dwindle down. The bleakness threatened to return like the tides rolling in on a gray, deserted winter beach.

Yet, he still felt connected to Sam. He could sense her presence somewhere just at the corner of his mind and he knew he was going to find her again if he had to when she was on her way to free Teal'c.

When he'd finally – much to his own surprise - managed to pick up the slip of metal, he had taken it with him, nestled inside the folds of his spirit like a precious treasure.

The disenchantment returned in full force when he'd reached the ruins. It was dark, but the moon illuminated all the old stones and buildings.

Daniel watched Jack and his new friend as they'd lost interest in stargazing and started to explore each other instead.

_It's the memory stamp,_ Daniel thought, desperately trying to fight the black tide sucking him in. _It made him forget all the rules and regulations he was so determined to hide behind. It tore away his denial and opened him for this._

For Jack those regs didn't even exist. He was free. Free to go with this guy where he had flatly refused to go with Daniel.

So he had been right after all about Jack's deeply hidden attraction to men – and that what had happened between them on one gorgeous afternoon under alien skies couldn't just be chalked up to the fact they'd been drugged to their eyeballs. But when he'd tried to break through Jack's defenses later, the rebuke had knocked him down hard and he'd quit right there and then. Because on some level Jack had been right. There was the team, the job, the obligations to Earth. Daniel had had no counter argument that wasn't selfish or pathetic. So he'd quit trying. And they'd drifted apart. When Kelowna happened Daniel had taken his bow.

Now he was here, floating, and Jack was down there, happily lip-locking with another guy.

_It's the memory stamp. Oma was right. It's not a curse for him. It's a blessing. _

'Do you see my point of view now, Daniel?'

Oma's presence startled him and he whirled around to 'face' her. She shone brightly in the dark. 'Let him be.'

Daniel reached out a tentative tendril and she entwined her energy with his, giving him back some strength. And in a blink of an eye he made a decision. 'Will you shield my doings from The Others if I go and help Sam? She has chosen her new path and she might need support to free Teal'c from the monastery.'

'You cannot interfere,' she said gently.

'I can't stand by and let her fail. This is my choice, Oma. If it means I have to leave the path of enlightenment, so be it. I'd rather pay for my actions than watch my friends die. You just have to create a diversion long enough for me to act if they need me. Once Sam and Teal'c are safe The Others can deal with me in whatever way they see fit.'

He felt her sadness, but also her final acceptance like a gentle caress. 'Give me your word you will not interfere unless it is absolutely necessary. Your companions are resourceful and cunning in their own ways.'

He made that promise, well aware there was a lot of leeway here on what was considered 'necessary interference'.

'Be safe. Daniel,' she whispered as she disappeared.

He wanted to leave right then, watching over Sam's journey. But he made the mistake of stealing another glance at Jack and for a moment there was nothing but this ache all around him, similar to what he'd felt when Oma had split him. Like another part of him was taken away and destroyed.

**ooo**

Jack's hands wandered over unknown territory; hard muscles, soft areas in between, chest hair under his fingernails. His mind kept swirling and giving him false data. And what had been like some weird out of body experience before morphed into conscious thoughts and images, forcing their way into his mind like they belonged there...

He'd stopped giving in to buddy groping when he and Sara had become more serious and there had been a wedding and a family. He had decided that's all he needed. He'd become a father...

_God, I loved being a father, _Jack thought and suddenly there were hot tears stinging his eyes; something he hadn't felt in years. And even as he choked them down in his refusal to let them surface, the thoughts kept coming...

He had loved being a husband, too. There wasn't anything dirty or shameful about it. It had felt right and good. Perfect. No more groping in the dark, no more forbidden fruits and guilt trips afterwards. Only love and sweet vanilla sex. He'd loved that, too. Until something... something happened and everything had shattered into a million little pieces. And then they recalled him to active duty to... do something. Open a gate to... no, Daniel was the one who opened the gate and lead Jack through to... somewhere.

_Abydos_.

Lightheaded and more than a little confused, Jack pulled back and blinked. He could smell and taste Mohawk everywhere. The fragrance was sunlight, the ocean and something earthy. Jack licked his lips and tasted wine and arousal.

"What?" Mohawk whispered into his ear.

"I don't..." He didn't know what to think anymore. Didn't know who he was, or who was the real 'him'.

"You okay?" Gentle hands touched his temple, cupped his face. "You want us to stop?"

"No." Because if they stopped he'd lose what little anchoring he had to this life. To this reality. He could feel the gate opening. Could almost hear the kawoosh of the wormhole establishing and if he stopped holding on to Mohawk it was going to suck him right in and sweep him away, carry him somewhere he'd rather not be...

They kissed again and the whirling thoughts and images faded away as Jack went flat on his back, the hard grassy ground solid underneath him, Mohawk on top of him, weighing him down.

ooo

"I found you!"

Daniel slowly focused on the new voice, tearing his senses away from Jack and his new game of 'sucking out tonsils'.

"I looked and looked for you ever-y-where, all over!" The boy – and Daniel took a brief moment to notice once again that he was a real small one, almost a toddler still – stood on the edge of the highest tier, hands on hips and a scowl on his face. "You haveta do something! Jack won't listen to me and I kinda forgot what we're s'pposed to do. I know I need to help him with the memories, but everything here is so exciting and I get distracted."

'Exciting?' Daniel echoed.

"Yes!" The scowl was replaced by an expression of wonder. "Like how coffee smells and tastes and that the sand on the beach tickles the soles of my feet and that you can smell the sun and the grass. And how yummy felafels are and what it's like to swim in the big ocean or to play with clay. Don't you miss all that?"

Daniel registered a tiny shred of wistfulness at the child's words, but there was no point letting it linger. 'I am no longer physical. I don't need these things anymore,' he said in a way of an explanation.

"I know that," the boy replied. "But you could still want them."

'What are you doing up here?' Daniel asked, changing the subject. 'If The Others find out about you they won't be happy.'

"I found you. They can't do anything about that," Danny said rather smugly. "'sides, we're the same, you and me. They probably won't even notice unless they spy on us."

'Maybe they do,' Daniel cautioned. But when he stretched the edges of his mind searchingly he couldn't sense anyone near them. Not even Oma.

However...

'I need to go. Sam and Teal'c need my help,' he informed little-him.

Danny sucked in a breath as if he suddenly remembered something important. "Where are they? Are they hurt? When I fell from the sky I knew where they were, but I don't remember anymore."

'They are okay for the moment, but that will change. Teal'c is at the monastery. Do you remember the monastery?'

The boy stared at him for a moment, then his head bopped up and down. "Yes! He's getting ready to ascend! And Sam is with the old lady and the flowers! What happened? Does Sam remember now? Is she going to go to the old ugly monastery all alone to get Teal'c? What about Junior when he's all grown up? And how..."

Daniel moved forward and cut the boy's bubbling well of questions off by wrapping himself around him, much like he had done with Sam before. It was easier to communicate like this. As they joined, he passed on all the information Danny wanted and was, in return, given everything the boy had done and experienced over the last couple of days since he'd 'fallen from the sky'.

An overwhelming flood threatened to sweep Daniel away; the essence of playful summer days, the simple joys of being physical again and pure emotions – some patches of fear and apprehension, but mostly cheerful happiness. He was mesmerized by what he experienced through Danny's eyes, but mostly he was stunned by the forceful pull coming from the boy. Like a bright and colorful counterbalance to the tide of despair and bleakness that kept pulling at Daniel from the other side. He felt the thread between himself and the child strengthen like chords of light weaving into a solid rope.

**ooo**

"God, you taste wonderful," Mohawk murmured as he left a trail of electrifying kisses on Jack's chest. Where had his t-shirt gone?

"Mmmm..." Jack murmured, welcoming how empty his mind had become as though all the scary things had drained from it and he was left with just a nice buzz in his head. No reason to think at all. He was going to deal with this weird hallucination thing. Later. Tomorrow. Maybe.

A mouth closed over one of his nipples, sucked and then bit, bringing Jack close to the edge. "Yes... yes... Daniel..."

The mouth was gone and so were the hands. Jack's eyes flew open and he stared at the cold gleam of the stars. Above the theater was lightening in the sky, a swath of brightness, similar to what he had seen earlier... and the night when Danny had fallen into the arena...

"Daniel," he whispered brokenly as the memory of Daniel – of who Daniel _really_ was - came back with such force it nearly knocked him out.

Daniel was out there. With the stars. Somewhere. Not dead, but gone. Only once had he come back to be with Jack. And the memory edged itself back into his mind like a carving knife working on wood..

...He was at Ba'al's fortress and just knew he was going to be six feet under pretty soon. Probably had to come to this one day. Couldn't always be lucky. He was okay with that. All he needed was for Daniel to be with him when the time came. Even more so, Jack wanted him to end this. Reaching the higher planes wasn't meant for him, no matter how much Daniel wanted him to. Jack wasn't pure, not a good soul. Not like Daniel.

He could feel his presence like a hug or a cool drink on a hot day. Like a warm fire in a winter's night.

"Daniel?"

"I'm here." His voice was soft and soothing and Jack wanted to grab his hand and hold on to it for dear life, but there was no hand because Daniel wasn't physical anymore. But if he were Jack would probably have done it. Grab his hand. To hell with all the DADT and frat regs. They didn't mean anything anymore.

"Daniel, you have to end this."

"Jack, you just have to hang in there a little while longer."

"No. I can't go back in there. If I go back, I swear to God, I'll give Ba'al what he wants, I'll tell him."

"What?"

"That he loved her. Kanan came back for her. He wanted to save her. If Ba'al finds out, he'll do to her what he's doing to me. Daniel, if you don't end this…I'll tell him."

Jack could swear he felt Daniel's hand in his hair, but it was just imagination. Side effect of the sarc-wellness-program Ba'al had going.

He'd done what Kanan asked him to because he knew what it's like to love someone. Knew what it was like having to leave someone he loved behind...

_...That it tears your heart out and leaves you frozen in your very own hell for a very long time. _Oh, Jack hadn't left Daniel behind, not literally, but he had pushed him away. And eventually Daniel had left and Jack had been stuck in his own frozen hell ever since.

"You could've told me there's someone else." The voice brought him back. He struggled to sit up and tried to get rid of the fog in his brain.

"There's..." Jack started and then stopped.

"There's a Daniel," Mohawk said dryly. "I know there's a story behind this. Who is he?"

"He's... someone I... once knew."

"Well, he must be a very special guy. You just passed out there for a moment." Mohawk seemed torn between being worried and annoyed. Jack couldn't blame him.

"I didn't pass out."

"Oh, yes, you did. Or rather zoned out. It was creepy."

Jack sat and stared at the dark folds and creases of the rolling hills and the solid black structure of the theater that looked like someone had cut a chunk out of the sky. Like a black hole leading into nothingness. Or maybe leading into Jack's other life. The one he hadn't even known he had up until a couple days ago. The one he wasn't sure he wanted back.

The sheet lightening was gone and Jack felt empty and alone.

"Is he an ex of yours or just someone you wanted but couldn't have?" Mohawk asked.

"It's complicated."

"Okay."

"I'd forgotten all about him," Jack murmured. "I didn't even know he existed."

Until Danny had brought Daniel back to him. Somehow.

"And now you remember him?" Suddenly there was something in Mohawk's voice that hadn't been there before. A sharp, alarmed edge. "Just like that? Because we were making out?"

"I need to check on the kid." Jack surged to his feet and started down the rampart, but a strong hand on his arm stopped him.

"What else do you remember, Jack?"

His instincts kicked back into place without a hitch as he shrugged out of Mohawk's grip. "I haven't seen Daniel in a very long time, that's all. You kinda remind me of him. He was a geek, too. And way too curious for his own good."

"Where did you meet him?"

"Somewhere around here. He was on vacation. No idea where he went or where he is now." The lies came smoothly across Jack's lips, but he felt Mohawk's eyes on him as they reached the bottom of the rampart. His new friend wasn't buying it.

And when had this conversation turned into an interrogation? Jack knew the tone of voice all too well. He'd used it himself often enough.

"How does the child play into all this?"

"He's just a kid."

"Oh, yes. What's his name again? Danny? Coincidence, much?"

"I named him that. We don't even know if that's his real name," Jack snapped. He had no idea what was going on and what Mohawk's role in all this was, but right about now he didn't trust anyone. He should have listened to Danny... "You better hit the road, pal."

He couldn't see the other man's face – they had left the candle at their stargazing spot – but he was prepared for a rebuke, a blow even. His hands balled into fists, ready to strike first if he had to.

After a stretch of awkward silence Mohawk let out a long breath and when he spoke again he seemed to try for light and easy, but there was still that sharp edge to his voice. "So much for a first date. I imagined this going a tad differently."

"Yeah. Sorry."

"See ya around, Jack." With that he turned and walked away, into the night.

Jack slowly relaxed when Mohawk was out of sight. He waited a moment longer, head tilted to one side as he listened to the noises of the night. The only footfalls he could hear were Thor's shuffling hooves close by.

_He knows something._

Jack had no clue what that meant. He felt like he was standing at the edge of a bottomless pit with all kinds of monsters lurking down there, waiting for him to jump or fall. Again he felt like the world around him was nothing but a canvas, a veil, a mirror... something he could step through and find himself in another reality. Another life.

A life where Daniel was a guy. Or used to be a guy. Where Jack had traveled to other worlds with SG-1 to seek out new civilizations, new life... something like that anyway. And Mohawk knew something about that other life? Or did Mohawk know why this was happening to him?

The terms _brainwashed_ and _compromised by alien influence_ popped into Jack's mind. And; _this isn't your home world, you weren't born here, you don't belong here._

And yet... he did. He was living here. Had friends here. He remembered a childhood, growing up struggling to make a living, always poor but not unhappy.

But he was also beginning to remember the other things. Ice skating when he'd been no older than Danny, his mom's apple pie, his dad's laughter and hugs, his brothers and him playing in the yard, his dog...

If he wasn't slowly going crazy – and he had a gut feeling that wasn't the case – Mohawk had been alerted and suspicious. Because Jack was on to something.

To whatever this was.

Jack didn't think Mohawk would come back to kill him in his sleep, but he'd take watch and keep the knife close by tonight. And tomorrow he'd have a heart-to-heart talk with Danny. Decisions made, he pushed aside the ivy and slipped into his shelter to check on the kid.

It took him several moments to register that Danny's corner was empty. And another moment to grope around in the dark and find the small chamber deserted.

His first thought was Mohawk had kidnapped the boy for some reason. But he'd just left a couple of minutes ago and Jack had been directly in front of his shelter, watching him leave. What had most likely happened was that Danny had woken up earlier and decided to take a walk. To annoy Jack. Or because he'd been bored. Or maybe he remembered the catacombs and thought going there would brighten his mood.

The catacombs. Oh, Jack would bet good money the star child had gone there to explore. It'd be such a Daniel-thing to do. And no matter how far out there this was – Jack was sure the kid was somehow connected to _his_ Daniel.

Daniel, who'd liked digging in the dirt and reading hieroglyphs scratched into walls eons ago.

Jack grabbed a new candle and made sure he had enough matches left, then went out into the dark. Just in case the little deserter had just gone to take a leak or cuddle with Thor, Jack kept calling his name. He checked on the mule who was dozing peacefully in the moonlight.

Danny was no where in sight or ear shot.

_Unless he's still cross at you and won't come out just because he wants to pay you back for inviting Mohawk to dinner._

"Daniel!" He shook his head when no reply was forthcoming. "Danny! I'm really starting to worry here – so if you can hear me, c'mon out." He tried that in a couple of different varieties, but no little boy showed up or answered him.

"Great," he muttered as he headed to the theater. For now the memory issue was on hold. He had to find his boy before he hurt himself down there.

**ooo**

'Why? Why do you want me and Jack to stay here?'

'Because Jack doesn't want to remember and you like it here, don't you?'

Danny tilted his head. 'Jack is remembering. It already starts coming back to him. He just has to stop fighting it.'

'He doesn't want to. And if he's staying here, maybe you can stay with him.' It was comforting to know that at least a part of Daniel would still be with Jack even now.

'I can stay with him wherever he goes,' Danny insisted. 'He's taking real good care of me. He says I'll be always safe with him.'

'I know you will be.' Apparently Jack cared much more deeply for the boy than he'd let on at first.

They had parted again after the exchange of memories. Daniel felt that being so closely connected evoked a too strong reaction in both of them which was most likely going to alert The Others. He wondered, however, if he would re-unite with his little part again if they merged with one another for a longer period of time.

But even now that the boy was sitting cross legged on the ground and Daniel had dimmed his energy and morphed into semi physical form, mirroring Danny's posture, the bond between them was there and they still talked without verbalizing the words, just like Daniel did with Oma.

And something else had changed. Daniel could sense a faint thread to Jack as well. Not as strong as the one to Danny and not as steady as the thin line that kept him in touch with Sam. It was fickle and seemed to come and go like a radio frequency with lots of static, but...

'Can't you come back? Can't you be with him, too?' Danny asked. 'He'll be happy if you do. I know it.'

'I'm sorry. I can't.'

'Can't or won't?'

'If I come back I can never return to being ascended.'

'But Jack's going to want to remember everything if you come back,' Danny said from the bottom of his heart. Daniel could feel how strongly the boy believed this. And he hated to burst that bubble.

'I think you're wrong about that. He's found someone else and it's probably for the best.'

Danny blew up his cheeks and let out a loud snort. 'Him!? Jack doesn't need him! He has me. I'm his bestest friend ever.'

'Ye-ah, but that's kinda different,' Daniel said vaguely.

Danny nodded. 'I know. But, if you come back then Jack and I can be best friends and you and him can do the icky stuff. That'll make him happy. And you.'

'Icky... stuff?' He knew he shouldn't ask. It was only going to lead to disaster, but he couldn't help himself.

'You know, making babies and such.'

Daniel knew he shouldn't have asked. 'Um... men don't, uh, make babies.'

'Yes, they do. That's what Jack is doing with funny hair guy. I saw them when I went to meet you. I just hope they stop in time. We don't need a baby right now.'

'Ah... ye-ah. You're right. No babies before marriage.' There was definitely a memory glitch there. One Daniel wasn't going to touch on.

Danny gaped at him. 'You don't think Jack's gonna marry funny-hair, do you?'

Oops. 'Oh, no. Nonono. I don't think so, don't worry.'

'Well, I better tell him not to. Though he might not listen to me. He's stubborn that way. But I shoulda warn him about the baby thing.'

'Yeah. Good idea. You should talk to Jack about... the babies.' Even a small revenge could be sweet, Daniel figured. He quickly changed the subject again. 'Sam and Teal'c will be safe. I'm going to make sure of that.'

Danny crossed his arms over his chest and glared. 'Jack has to go and help rescue Teal'c.'

'That's not for you to decide. Or me.'

'When Jack remembers, he's gonna want to find them and take them home. Me and Jack, we have to go to the ugly old monastery to help Sam bust out Teal'c. Jack's gonna be real mad at the bad guys and he and Sam are gonna punch them on their noses. And later he and Teal'c have to punch more bad guys and cover mine and Sam's six while we'll dial the gate. That's how it works.'

Daniel sighed. _He has all the faith I lost._

'Daniel? Will you come if I call you?' Danny asked, at the edge of fear. 'Will you help Jack and me find the monastery? 'Cause we need to do that. Jack can't stay here and marry funny-hair.'

Realizing his teasing might have caused serious worries, Daniel reached out and touched the boy's cheek lightly. The round, young face was bathed in a gentle silver glow. 'Jack isn't going to marry him, Danny. But speaking of Jack... he's looking for you. I think he's searching the catacombs.'

He could sense waves of anxious worry from Jack. On and off. And an increasing amount of guilt for leaving the kid alone.

Danny frowned. 'Why?'

'He thinks that's where you went. He thinks you ran off because you were mad at him for being with funny-hair.'

'Oh! But he said we aren't allowed to go in there again or we'd be in trouble.'

'Uh-huh, but that has never kept you from doing anything before so I guess he thinks you went there anyway,' Daniel said a bit awkwardly. 'I guess his memories are really coming back, huh?'

Danny shrugged. 'I guess I don't wanna go there that badly then. I just came because I saw you – in my dream.' He tapped a finger against his temple. 'I knew you were here and I had to come and see you, finally.'

'And now you have to let Jack know where you are.'

Danny sucked in his bottom lip, then let it go again. 'D'you think he's gonna yell at me?'

'If he does, it's just because he's been worried.'

The boy let out a huge sigh. ''kay, I let him yell at me a little then if it makes him feel better.'

Daniel picked up the small metal slip he had brought with him. It was right by his side, where he'd dropped it earlier. 'If you really think he's remembering, I want you to give him this. Maybe... maybe it's good for something. Who knows.'

Danny took it and let the chain slide through his fingers. 'Ohhh...' He slipped it over his head and stuck it into his shirt, but it was too long, the tags dangling past the waistband of his pants. He brushed them off again, rolled the chain up and stuffed them into his pocket.

'Jack is just leaving the catacombs. Go now and be careful on the steps.' Daniel gave up the physical appearance and floated away, watching from afar as Danny climbed down the tiers, calling Jack's name loudly.

Jack stood by the entrance to the tunnels, relighting his candle. When he heard Danny calling he turned in a circle and then started up the tiers, taking two steps at a time. Daniel stayed long enough to see him drop to his knees and wrap the child into his arms.

**ooo**

Jack hugged the little urchin tightly, trying to get his racing heart back under control. Then he grabbed Danny's shoulders and held him at arm's length. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Jack."

All kinds of mixed feelings were rushing through him, making him weak in the knees. A chill ran down his spine and for a split moment he didn't know if he was going to smack the kid or just hug him some more. Over all there was a vast relief loosening the knots in his guts and helping him to breathe more easily. He sat down heavily on the step and pulled Danny back into his arms.

"Jack? You're squishing me," he piped up and Jack loosened his hold on him – but only slightly.

"Don't you ever do that again," he rasped out. "No matter how mad you are at me, no matter what... don't ever run off like that again."

"I wasn't mad at you," Danny said, snuggled against Jack's chest and tucked into the crook of his arm. "Well, I was, earlier. But that's not why I had to go."

"What?" Jack wasn't able to follow here.

"I didn't leave 'cause I was mad at you," Danny repeated.

"Well, enlighten me then? Why did you have to run away in the middle of the night?"

"I didn't run away. And you were busy smooching with funny-hair guy so you didn't notice," Danny muttered.

"You're not just taking off to god knows where on your own, period. I thought you went into the catacombs. You have any idea how..." He shook his head. He'd been down there, stumbling through the darkness with his candle going out all the damn time. He'd lost his way twice and ended up in caved in tunnels. He didn't know if he'd been down there for minutes or an hour – all he knew was that he was still jittery and somewhere between grateful and upset. "I should go and cut a switch..."

"What for?"

"What?"

"Why would you cut a switch?"

Jack snorted at Danny's clueless puzzlement. It also deflated his temper instantly. He kissed the top of the blond head. "Never mind. Just answer my question? What were you doing out here?"

"I found Daniel!"

_Daniel... _"Ye-ah, about that..."

"I talked to him, Jack. You haveta believe me, I really really talked to him. He told me about Sam and Teal'c and we have to..."

Jack put a finger on Danny's lips to shush him. "You're him, aren't you?"

"Only a little bit of him," Danny said and Jack needed a moment to let it sink in, but when it came down to it he wasn't really surprised. Maybe part of him had known this all along.

Finally he asked, "How?... How is that even possible? How can you be... here? And still," he pointed heavenwards, "there."

Danny shrugged. "Oma did something to him and..."

"Oma," Jack murmured. "She... she helped you. Him. She helped Daniel ascend."

The kid wriggled and twisted. Short arms were slung around Jack's neck until he felt he was hugged by a little sumo ringer. "You remember! You remember!" Danny squealed into his ear.

"Whoa! Slow down!" Jack gasped as he felt his throat getting tight from being love-choked.

Danny loosened his grip and Jack struggled to his feet, holding on to the boy as he did. "I remember," he finally confirmed with reluctance. "At least... some stuff."

What he mostly remembered right now was Daniel. And how everything connected to Daniel seemed to cut so damn deep. And that he had inflicted a lot of pain in Daniel. That, even though there had been an... accident?...

_a fucking nuclear bomb_

….that it had been Jack who'd really pushed Daniel away, up to where he was now, in the first place. Because...

And there things became sketchy again.

Which was probably a good thing. Jack wasn't sure he liked the person he'd been. Or the life he'd led.

"Jack, we have to leave," Danny said as they descended the tiers. "Teal'c's in trouble and Sam is trying to help him, but she can't do it alone."

Jack shook his head. He couldn't just leave. He needed to glaze pottery and keep an eye on Viktor's booth and find a winter job and... "What kind of trouble is Teal'c in?"

"The thing that took away your memories..."

"All right, hold it... a _thing_ that took my memories?"

"Uh-huh, something they put into your brains. Well, they didn't really put it there, they have some kind of scanner that gave you new memories and suppressed the old ones."

Jack felt the fine hairs on his neck rise. It seemed he was getting to the bottom of this, whether he wanted to or not. "That thing – it took all our memories? Mine, Sam's and Teal'c's? And isn't there supposed to be someone else...?" Not Daniel. Daniel had taken the Starlight Express. But...

"Yes, Jonas, but he's on Earth. He couldn't come with you. But, focus, Jack... Teal'c thinks he's a Sinner and his symbiote..."

"Junior," Jack said flatly. "The snake..."

"Yes! Junior is gonna grow up real soon and when he does, he'll try taking Teal'c as host, but Teal'c will kill Junior and then he's gonna die, too."

Jack sighed. "Sounds like a load of trouble to me."

"Uh-huh."

A heavy, familiar weight settled on his shoulders and Jack knew instantly that his quiet, peaceful days were drawing to an end. He looked at the stars, hoping to see the lights again. But whatever part of Daniel had been here and talked to the bug was gone now. The other part of Daniel, the solid, breathing and talking part, rested his head against Jack's shoulder and was asleep before they even reached their little shelter.


End file.
